A Song To Kiss You Goodbye Chapter Four

It's been a year since Stephan and Maxie started to go steady, but Maxie has other things on her mind. Roy goes back down memory lane, and we learn more about his relationship with Helen. Not only that, but his secret will be revealed.

P.O.V. Roy Herman

Maxie had convinced me to come with her to see Stephan perform. I knew Stephan didn't like me for some reason, and I think ti had to do with how much time I was spending with Maxie. I could understand how that could get to him. Who knows, he might think she was cheating on him for me when he wasn't around. I'm not that type of guy though, Stephan just didn't know that yet.

When the show was over, Stephan went straight to ask Maxie if she wanted to go someplace tonight. To my surprise, Maxie told him no.

"I'm not in the mood tonight Steve. Maybe next week. You can go somewhere tonight by yourself if you want."

"But Maxie... it's our one year anniversary, don't you remember?"

"Yes I do, but like I said, I'm not in the mood."

"Maxie, you should go," I spoke up. She needed to spend more time with Stephan, especially if it was their one year anniversary.

"But Roy..."

"Go on, you two have fun. I need to audition for some more shows. I'll be back home sometime around midnight is my guess." 

As I walked off, I over heard Maxie agreeing to go out tonight with Stephan, and she even apologized for saying no just a few seconds before. She held his hand as they walked off toward town. 

I'd lied to them about the auditions, I had done them earlier that day, but I didn't want them to know where I was going. I called for a taxi for a ride to a small town near by where Helen, Billy and I used to live before Helen took her life.

When I finally made it to the cemetery where my dear Helen was buried, I went straight to her grave. It wasn't much, just a small head stone with her name and how long she'd lived, but it was all I could afford. I didn't even plan a funeral, because I knew no one would come. 

She didn't have any friends because she refused to socialize after she got pregnant, and her parents kicked her out when they learned she was with child and was going to keep it. They'd expressed how much they wanted nothing to do with her, Billy or me, just like my father had done to me when I told him I was going to take care of her.

Helen had never been the same after she became pregnant. Before, she was outgoing, was loved by everyone and had her own sense of... well, everything! I fell in love with her the moment I saw her when my family moved into town. After getting the nerve to ask her out, she said yes.

We remained a couple through out high school, and we did everything together. She was everything I ever wanted and more, but just like all teenagers, we fell to fault.  

Half way through our 11th grade year, we'd decided it would be a fun idea to go out partying. This wasn't a new activity for us, but what happened this time was new...

 We had our first who hoo, and a month later, Helen learned she was pregnant.

Helen thought her parents would be okay with her choice to keep the child, but her parents disowned her. They wouldn't even allow her back if she did leave Billy and I after words. When I learned this, I knew I had to help her. It was my fault, and I had to do something about it. 

For the next few years, I struggled to feed all three of us, and pay the bills. I was constantly looking for a job, since I'd dropped out of school to take care of Helen and Billy. 

Helen was slowly retreating into herself. I knew this the moment after she was kicked out by her parents, but I never expected it to go as far as committing suicide. I blamed myself for her death. Maybe I could of done more, then maybe she would still be here.

I looked down at the grave, and began to cry, "Why Helen, why? I know things were going bad, but why did you have to go and end it? I'm all alone now that Billy's gone. Please Helen, why did you have to do it?"

I tried to stop myself before I lost control of my form, but my emotions proved to be too strong. I looked into a puddle on the ground, looking at the reflection of me remembering who I really was. Unwanted, and hated by everyone I had and had never met....

I was looking down at an IF, someone no one could ever want. I knew I could never have Maxie, even if she wasn't with Stephan. I'd never want to curse her with being with me. She deserved better, and she'd never want me in the first place. She saw me as a friend, nothing more, and that's what it should stay as. 

As I looked at my watch, I realized I wasn't going to be back by midnight. As I hurried off to back it back to town, I didn't realize what was coming for me.

Maxie Clands' P.O.V.

Don't get me wrong, I wanted to go on this "It's been a whole Year" date with Stephan, but my mind was on other things. I still hadn't managed to tell him about me being an IF, and then there was my feeling for Roy. Every moment that passed by, I couldn't get Roy out of my mind. There was just something about him that I could connect to, although I didn't know what it was. We'd grown up two totally different ways, so it wasn't that. I'd grown up being rich, never knowing my mom, and he'd grown up poor, dropping school to take care of a girl he got pregnant and Billy. I still didn't know why the girl left Roy, he never wanted to talk about it.

"Maxie, I have an early morning performance I need to go to. Will you be okay being here alone?"

"I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself."

"I know you can," he kissed my cheek, getting up and going to the door, "I'll be back by noon my love. No getting into trouble."

"When do I ever do?" I said smiling. As he got on his bike and rode into town, my smile disappeared. I couldn't ignore how I was feeling for Roy anymore, but I didn't want Stephan do be around when I told Roy how I felt. I know Roy would tell me he didn't like me back, and that I was with Stephan, but I didn't care right now. I wanted Roy to know.

I heard Roy coming up the sidewalk, he was late, but that didn't matter to me. He had to have a good reason for being late. I ran out to meet him as quick as I could. I had to tell him, I had to.

Roy stopped in the middle of the path, a little shocked, "Maxie... why are you running and... why are you looking at me like that?... Oh my plumbbob... please don't tell me you got drunk again!"

"No, but I have other things on my mind."

"Oh no, please Maxie, whatever is going on I don't want you to get..."

"-It's you."

Before he could say anything in reply, I quickly pressed my lips to his. I'd expected him to push me away, saying something along the lines of "What are you doing? You're with Stephan!" but he didn't.

Instead, his arms wrapped around me, keeping me close to him. I held on to him as he kissed me back. I hadn't expected Roy to kiss me back, not in a million years. What was going on? Did he actually like me back?

As the sun came up, our kiss only went further. His hands lingered all over my back, somehow finding it's way into my shirt. My fingers slide over his shirt, unbuttoning it all the way down. I was just about to pull it off his shoulders when he let go of me.

"Not here Maxie, Someone could see us."

"Well then, how about we take it inside?" I asked, my hands wrapping around him inside his shirt.

"Maxie, we need to talk before we continue anything, you know that right?"

I nodded, half way paying attention. I couldn't believe it, Roy had kissed me!

He picked me up and carried me inside. When he sat me down by the bed, I pulled him on top of me to his surprise.

His hand embraced my head as he looked down at me, "Why are you doing this? Do you not like Stephan?"

"Stephan is my world."

"Then why do this to him?"

"Who says he'll find out?" I was about to kiss him again when he shook his head no, tears flowing from his eyes, "Please Roy, if you like me back... then just please, only for this one time? I won't ever do it again. I... I just can't ignore how I feel about you." I soon found myself crying as well. I loved Stephan, but I also loved Roy. I didn't know what to do, but right now I found myself just going for my emotions. It was a bad choice, but I needed to let them go, even just for a moment.

A tear dropped  from his cheek and landed on my neck. He looked at where the tear had landed. He leaned his head against the spot where the tear had landed,  his lips suddenly aggressively kissing my neck. He shrugged his already unbuttoned and coming off shirt off of him. His mouth went next to my ear whispering something to me, words I never will forget.

"Only because I love you Maxie, just this once."